Introduction

After more than a decade of having some type of psychopathic presence directly or indirectly involved in my life, I have been wanting to chronicle these misadventures for quite some time. Originally, I planned to start from the beginning and do a thorough job of chronicling my experiences in as much detail as possible. It was supposed to be a purging experience, and a way to gain more insight into myself and what I have been through.

But the thought of going back to the start of all this, to get it all out, and try to put it in order, was absolutely overwhelming. That is mostly why I have been putting off starting a blog until now. The other delays were deciding what platform to use and how to get some of this stuff off my chest if I wasn’t going to do a chronology of events.

After doing some research, I decided on WordPress for a number of reasons which don’t merit going into detail about. I’m sure this will become easier as I familiarize myself with WP and blogging but, for the time being, it feels a bit awkward.

I’ve come to realize that I don’t so much have a need to relive my experiences from beginning to end (although I’m still considering writing it all down, if I ever feel like tackling that), but my analytical mind is caught up in the mechanics of these relationships (between psychos and their victims). The behaviors are truly fascinating.

A bit of background: Why am I blogging about this?

I lived with a psychopath for a while, and then I moved out. Unfortunately, I wound up moving back in at a later time, and that’s when things really started to go downhill. Once I got away from him for good, things got even more interesting. It turned out that the vindictive, overgrown child my boyfriend was trying to divorce was even more of a monster than the one I had lived with. Figuring that out with him turned out to be more painful than my own previous experiences. I’m blogging as a way of healing and gaining perspective. However, if anyone happens to find these posts helpful, that’s wonderful.

The two monsters involved in my life meet the criteria for psychopathy. Though they both display traits from various personality disorders, they are both pathological and covert, so I’m not even bothering with the PD traits, although I’ll probably point them out from time to time. (Once you learn to recognize them, it starts to become second nature, like a survival instinct kicking in).

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~ by Psycho Free Zone on December 14, 2011.

9 Responses to “Introduction”

  1. […] Introduction (psychofreezone.wordpress.com) […]

  2. […] Introduction (psychofreezone.wordpress.com) […]

  3. […] Introduction (psychofreezone.wordpress.com) […]

  4. Just something you might find interesting, though I can’t remember which web-sites I read that revealed this information…(I found them in the beginning of the “understand” phase. One revelation lead to another and so on…

    Psychopathy is actually home to several different personality disorders, including but not limited to: paranoid personality disorder, as well as narcissistic personality disorder. There are others, too. My realization started with recognizing the traits of paranoid personality disorder in my X…then went from there.

    I want to encourage you to write and keep writing. It has been helpful (empowering and vindicating) for me to inter-react with others who are in various stages of healing. Above all remember, YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS!

    • Yes, personality disorders are just different flavors of psychopathy. The guy I lived with was mostly narcissistic, but he displayed traits from other personality disorders as well.

      I keep meaning to add more posts, but it really is overwhelming – I have so much to say, but I don’t know how to get it to come out.

      Thank you for your encouragement, and thanks so much for stopping by.

      • I know how you feel. beginning can be overwhelming. Sometimes it helps to just grab an old-fashioned pencil and paper, and just write…no thought…just start writing. When I began to do that, it literally started with, “This is stupid”, and some basic emotion statements. nothing really deserving of any award (even a gold star from a grade school teacher ha!) But then it began. It gets easier as you to let yourself. It’s scary because while you are writing, you might actually feel those same pangs of anxiety or what-have-you. When that happens, keep writing. You will find that at the end of each time, you will feel more at peace. Feel free to stop by my blog anytime, or email me. enjoy your weekend!

      • Excellent idea! I’m going to start carrying a notebook everywhere I go. Thank you.

  5. Another approach to getting away from the obstructive feel of being overwhelmed is to decide to write something—anything—about one topic or one incident, maybe with the goal of producing just one paragraph. The momentum may take you further. If not; who says a blog post must be a long article?

    • You are absolutely right. And I’ve reminded myself of that many times, yet I still neglect my blog. It’s a painful subject, but I know I’ll feel better letting some of it out.

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